i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
