I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
