she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
