If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
His hands were made for my vagina.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
