I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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