i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
