I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
