now i know why i became what i already was.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
