Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
