I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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