your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
