The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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