Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
