I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
