why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
