Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
