The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Four minutes until I can fart!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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