we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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