In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
