Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
