didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
