Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
How does it feel to date your dad?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize