it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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