I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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