Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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