Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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