Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
