I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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