we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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