I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
