so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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