I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize