Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
