he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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