I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
