Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
