I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
