he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
