Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
