You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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