In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
