If i come over, it means nothing
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
