paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
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I take back everything I said about communal showers
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
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woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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