it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
