Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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