the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
