Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
