And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
