My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
