Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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