I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
did i just pee glitter
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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