I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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