You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
