Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
