I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
