Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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