Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
