the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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