fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I can't turn off my feet"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
