Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
